Bitch McConnell (minority leader)

Life’s a bitch for Mitch...

...McConnell that is. The Republican minority leader in the U.S. Senate.

According to Dana Milbank of the “Washington Post,” McConnell greeted reporters with the grace we’ve come to associate with the Republican Party and its allies on “The O’Reilly Factor” and other low-brow “political” shows.

“We didn’t miss you,” he told the pack, which immediately began nipping at his heels.

As Milbank noted, it was a tough summer for GOPers - in the Senate especially - where the goody-two-shoes, “family values” guy from Lousiana, Sen. David Vitter was found to be on a list of special clients maintained by someone they’re calling the “D.C. Madam.”

Then there was the guy from Idaho, up to who-knows-what in the mens room, and Sen. Ted Stevens, from Alaska, who had his offices raided by the FBI.

Far be it from the highway scribe to suggest that because the feds raid your lair you are guilty of something. But Stevens would probably be less restrained were somebody else in the same simmering seat.

“By chance,” Milbank noted, “all three men have their offices on the fifth floor of the Hart Senate Office Building. Camera crews spent much of the summer encamped outside their offices as Washington followed their travails the way the rest of the country watched Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Nicole Richie.”

That’s hot!

Bitch McConnell, the article noted, “attempted to douse the scandals with a stream of aseptic euphemism - and avoiding even a mention of the miscreants’ names.”

That’s hot, too!

Anyway, these and other Republican foibles have led Bitch to conclude that the Democrats are the ones in trouble because of the public’s low (18 percent) approval of Congress.

That’s cold.

We’re not going to get into Bitch’s twisted reasoning (how long before we find him in the bathroom spreading family values?), preferring a rush to a very interesting tidbit rarely (never?) mentioned by the “liberal media elite.”

And that is this legislative session has seen a record number of Republican filibusters (43), which is how you accuse your counterparts across the aisle of getting nothing done: by refusing to let them make law.

Remember when the Republican leadership was going to apply a “nuclear option” to do away with the 18th century parliamentary tactic because the Democrats were “abusing” it to keep a couple of right-wing kooks off the federal bench?

No, of course you don’t, which is why you come to highwayscribery.

How the world does churn.